I f*ckin love this guy!!

Taking refuge in a funny-ironic comic XD

To be honest, this is the main reason I don't do any social media anymore XD... I am indeed an envious little biatch :3

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Pushing through the funk... -_-

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Aaand now, I hereby declare a break from nihilistic atmosphere from Palahniuk's works XD.
I actually received two Palahniuk's books as a birthday gifts, but drenching yourself in their nihilistic agenda is not a wise thing to do. So those book shall wait for a while. Although I still get that feeling of addiction toward the blackish-comedy of his works, but it gets into your daily life sometimes. I mean every materials you read, or watch, or heard, will affected your life somehow. So reading a negativity-induced novel in a row will do your life no good :D
Currently reading on "On Criticism" by Noel Carrolll--a very sharp opinionated book in the area of critics, although focusing more in art critics--but since I left the copy back at my boss' place, as a substitute, I idly took out one of my old Dawkins' book out of the shelf. It's titled "The Greatest Show on Earth". Been reading this since 2011, and I don't think I've ever manage to finished  it. Read it from the very beginning, starting off  with the preface; and it somehow reminds me of his writing style which is a little bit snobbish. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind him being snobbish at all, it even amuses me, remembering his hard agenda to take down creationism. Being overtly intellectual (in style) in his book brings a few notes for us who are sympathetic for his cause; it's like an ironic gesture from his part to highlight how foolish his opponent has been.
But apart from this funny aspect of the book, well it's a fun material to read, and it's an encyclopedic ride all along. And I just realized, my English skill must has been improving, because I read this copy much more pleasing; better than 5 years a go...

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"My heart is a dead time bomb drooling decayed corruption"
Said Madison Spencer, the snarkiest post-alive teenage girl ever. Can her description of her pitiful soul can go bleaker than that? No I don't think people (the normal ones at least) could come up with crazy sentence like that. 

It's an excerpt from Doomed, 2nd book of Palahniuk's trilogy of Damned. I've been unapologetically drenched in a pessimistic & snarky mood for the past week because of the book. It's funny to find it relaxing to surrender yourself to the bleakish perspective of life. To give yourself up to apathy and be negative towards everything. I guess nihilism has got a good point & perhaps it matches my "murphy's law" way of seeing the world. 

Sigh

Woke up with a realization that everything is inevitably nihilistic *loongsigh*
The central point of the problem lies within my lack of beliefs, whether it be a systemical belief or faith in an existential manner. You know the Kubler-Ross model of grief, the one which describe grief in phases such as: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, & acceptance. I for one believe, that we shall add a subsequent phase: apathy.
Apathy is the core corollary of nihilism I supposed. What to do when everything is skeptically important anymore? well be bored and get apathical I guess.
My boss told me I was so expert on shooing men away. It seems such a proudful gesture, but no, really, I don't mean to be picky or anything, or have a certain belief that I deserve a particular qualities in men. No, the reason is actually stemmed in my apathy towards life. I'm at a point in  which when I'm hopeful about something it will only gets me alerted; for I believe hope is toxic and will trap you in expectations, which many times cheated on you.
I don't do any art (just a bunch of petty projects to gets life going), I don't want a permanent relationship (& never had a serious one), I don't open my self too much to people; cause I know nil is the inevitable quality of life.
Just like old Eric Idle said: you come from nothing to nothing, what are you losing? Nothing..!

O-O-O

I supposed to sketch a concept design for a playground or something, but got caught up in the "speculative-realism rush". Call it a natural curiosity or just part of therapeutic side of philosophical inquiry, but I really-really need to follow this brilliant movement. As a critic of those wobbly school--the so-called--relativists (cont.philosophy, postmodernism, etc.), and more fangirling over the analytic phil., I find that speculative realism answered the need of philosophy in the era of progressing science such as today. I'll write a more serious entry later, then...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hK-5XOwraQo