I am in the verge of an emotional outburst caused by a simple song, sang by an indie UK band, The Bookshop Band. This emotional episode was instigate by the lyrics which follow the story of Hadley Hemmingway, the first wife of Ernest Hemmingway. It made me think a lot about the position of being a muse in someone's life, namely great names such as writers, artists, musicians, etc. I have been in awe numerous times when confronting men with great achievement and appealing persona. I believe, I've been a muse for them at some point of their life too. This very fact, coupled with the realization of how a muse served for those guy, gave me shiver.
There are reasons why great men were never been good guys. And it's almost axiomatic that they are always jerks. I guess being great and famous boost up their ego which ended up giving them a sense of privilege to ask more to life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to negate their way of life, I feel that jerks deserved being jerks, because they work and bleed hard to get into their position. I mean I never find any lackadaisical dudes who ends up become a jerky winner--here I need to pinpoint that being jerky means an act as if a person can ask more and treat others as underlings... erm yeah something like that, more or less...
Then there's women, especially women in the contemporary culture, whereas their objectified position has been in a constant shift for many decades now, and the awareness of being her own subject has become more and more canonical in our era. But I can't help but realize that women just looove being objectified. Not objectified per se, but see it for your self hither and thither. I am sure that all women likes being wooed and positioned as a highlighted trophy by guys, especially those jerky guys who appears as great winners. I'm not an avid evolution theory defender (I don't like to add "theory" to this phrase actually), but yeah I believe that Darwin's view of evolution is truly a fact. And so I believe that women penchant to be objectified has something to do with the way mother nature breed us to be so, in order to preserve the existence of our species.
So back to the struggle I currently confront: I think most women, who at least understand the basic notion of feminism agenda, wrestles with this natural characteristic of being an object of desire for the counterpart sex. Especially when twinned with the realization that they also wanted to be under the spotlight. That they wanted to be the artist rather than the mere muse.
I enjoyed being around men with great minds and has established their achievements in their fields. On some occasion (not very often, mind you) I also enjoy being their muse. But after listening to how Hadley Hemmingway has lead her life. How she shifted from being an adored muse to be a forgotten wife... it really gave me shiver... I don't want to repeat the pattern: initiated as a sought to be trophy, but when they (the jerky men) grew tired of you, you ended up being torn down into a self-doubting rag-doll.
The game of love is a healthy-fun thing to be played, particularly with those jerky men--its a fine sport, really. But I guess you need to hold on tightly to your own self preservation. Never give all to those assholes. But I guess turning down an opportunity to experience an upbeat romance is not a wise thing to do too. If a woman is searching for a keeper, they need to find a nice-decent guy (however boring they might be :3).
But I for one, not wanting to be a person to be kept with.