Minggu, Maret 20, 2016

being an existentialist-procrastinator

link to an awesome TEDtalk

I've been struggling heavily with this crippling bad habit. As evidenced by the fact that I'm writing this, instead of keep working on a task with a very tight deadline. Just this morning I got the email with that link to Tim Urban's TED talk, and well, can't help but intensely relate to it. Tim points out a very interesting statement, that all of us are basically procrastinators. At some degree, I agree. But there are some critical differences between us the very chronic procrastinators and those of normal spectrum of the human population. And he is right, the most significant is the presence of that abominable creature, namely the instant gratification monkey. We the chronic procrastinators gave up far too easily and too often to that damnable abstract primate. I guess it has something to do with the way we evolved. As simple animals, we used to fulfill our current needs, the necessity in the present, and doesn't take precaution to whatever would happen in the future or learn from whatever happened in the past. The urgently to do is the easiest, pleasurable thing we could do now, at this very moment. Just like a lion would hunt when hungry, sleep when sleepy, mate when the urge happens to come by; we the chronic procrastinators would procrastinate when the urge to delay come by. And the urge come by each and every time...

But you know, I've met a fellow chronic procrastinators in the past. And some of them are quite successful. I guess we need a thorough scrutiny to determine what went wrong. Even if I may succeeded to pinpoint that the main culprit for the failing of my life is procrastination, I gotta realize that a mishap always occurs not because of one single reason. One element that cause a series of unfortunate events, always had helps from other factors too. Erm, let's see, perhaps the specific architecture of my life (culturally,financially, psychologically), which resulted in a Me who's having a serious case of insecurities and self confidence, when coupled with a bad habit of crazy-procrastination, would resulted in a destructive-detrimental chaos which is my life :P

I've given up the idea of brilliance as an alpha part of myself. Because, one, who need a self aware-self proclaimed genius in the age of many "genius" such as today; and two, this illusion of having a good image of yourself is mostly delusional and will only get you lost in seeing the reality (the true and genuine one); and third, it only give me a temporal confidence, so it's practically useless; and fourth, it just won't take me anywhere.

I gotta say Gary Cox  is right. Being an existentialist is important nowadays. And being one is not a matter of encompassing yourself in the work of Sartre, Nietzsche, Heidegger, or any of their likes. It's about getting real, get a grip, and stop making excuses.

Eheh, I guess it's time for me to get some drawing done....

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